Evie would have been born 4 days ago. It's 7:42am and I'm sure I would be finishing up my morning coffee, readying myself to wake Weston up while Amanda tends to Evie. I'd bring Weston his milk and take him into the bedroom to see his mommy and his new baby sister. Weston's been saying "baby" a lot recently. It comes out more like "bebe."
Read MoreDespite the waves of emotion, I determined this year’s race was going to be special. We had 40 people in #ForIndy t-shirts running in honor of Amanda. Our Resonate Worship band was one of the featured bands along the route. 50 more of our Resonate volunteers signed up to pass out gatorade to runners. I was on track to post a personal record by running a faster time than I’d ever run a half-marathon. This year was going to be special!
Read MoreYesterday I took Weston to Amanda’s gravesite for the first time. I thought it fitting to begin a new Mother’s Day tradition with him. Needless to say it was very painful. Her headstone wasn't set yet, and he certainly didn’t understand what I was trying to tell him. But I wanted him to know more about his mommy.
Read MoreThere is a country song by the band Heartland called “I Loved Her First.” I remember this song hitting the airwaves the summer before Amanda and I got married. I also remember it seemed just about every country song released that summer was about a father giving his daughter away in marriage. I could have sworn it was some kind of conspiracy against me! Every time I would hear one of these songs that summer I would almost impulsively drive up to Amanda’s dad’s house in tears and apologize for taking his daughter away from him!
Read MoreThe story of Horatio Spafford has always been an inspiration to me since I first heard it on a kids audio program called The Adventures in Odyssey - if you grew up in church you’ll probably remember these cassette tapes. Since Amanda’s death, however, Spafford's story has taken on another dimension.
Read More"It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.” -AW Tozer
This quote from well-known theologian, AW Tozer, has been sinking into my heart deeply as of late. We have so many people in our church who are experiencing REAL PAIN in their lives - loss, hardship, stress, anxiety, depression.
Read MoreWhat people will often do when they encounter a trial, a tragedy, or a painful experience is they will try to run away from the pain. Pain is terrifying. It’s messy. It sneaks up on you and can cripple you in an instant. It knocks the breath out of you. But it can’t kill you.
Read MoreContentment is a slippery and alluring feeling. It seems to me I’ve spent much of my life looking forward to the next season and merely trying to endure the current one. When you plant a church the process can be so grueling and intense you have trouble appreciating the process.
Read MoreOne of the things I enjoyed doing the most with Amanda was running. We were those crazy people that ran for FUN. I still enjoy it as a way to clear my head. Shortly after we got married we trained for and ran a marathon in San Diego. During that season I fell more in love with my wife that I ever thought I could.
Read MoreMy counselor asked me this question during one of our conversations. He said, “Davey, do you think Amanda would have still said ‘yes’ to Jesus about moving to Indianapolis if she knew she was going to lose her life four years into it?” I really had to chew on this before I could answer him.
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